Keeping a journal of sleep and mood.

I have kept a journal since I was 13 years old. I try to write in it daily. I have gone back to my old journals and notice my mood and sleep pattern. I tend to sleep too much most of the time I feel depressed. I feel like I have nothing to get up for. I feel sad, tired, listless, and unloved. Going down and down into the depths of depression comes suicide. And many times I felt this feeling. Like I could not bare the pain anymore and that suicide was the only way out. My first suicidal ideation was when I was in 6th grade. I wrote about wanting to die and who would get what.

I have even written an obituary about myself. And I just have it on my computer just in case I die before my time.

Anyway I write more when I am depressed then when I am manic. But I do write many ideas I have at the time. Things I am going to do and try to do as many as possible before my energy subsides.

So I guess that I do write when I am both moods but in different ways my feelings when I am depressed and lists of things or ideas to do when I am manic. So write your feelings down and you will begin to notice patterns especially over years.


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